(NSI News Source Info) January 7, 2009: Brad Pitt's no cheater – at least not by his definition.
The 45-year-old actor has come out swinging (again) at allegations that he began an affair with Angelina Jolie on the set of "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" while he was still married to Jennifer Aniston.
Pitt announced his split from Aniston soon after the movie wrapped.
"What people don't understand is that we filmed for a year. We were still filming after Jen and I split up," he says in the February issue of W magazine.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got close on the set of "Mr. & Mrs. Smith."
"Even then it doesn't mean that there was some kind of dastardly affair. There wasn't."
But, like many spouses before him, Pitt's definition of what constitutes an affair might be little ... off. Experts say it's not just about sex.
"An emotional affair is an affair. If you find yourself having feelings for someone, that is the beginning of an affair," says Rachel Sussman, a New York-based marriage and family therapist
So whether Pitt and Jolie consummated their relationship while he was still married to Aniston is irrelevant, she says.
Jolie, who now has six children with Pitt, raised eyebrows in October after she told the New York Times that "not a lot of people get to see a movie where their parents fell in love" - referencing her steamy onscreen role opposite Pitt in "Smith."
Aniston later pegged Jolie's remarks as "uncool" in an interview with Vogue magazine.
Both Jolie and Pitt have denied that they began dating during his marriage and Pitt now says that his early relationship with Jolie was "respectful" of his marriage with Aniston.
But Pitt's definition of what's "respectful" might differ from his ex-wife's.
"Men do tend to walk around feeling that unless I'm having sex, I'm not doing anything wrong," says M. Gary Neuman, psychotherapist and author of "The Truth About Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It."
But for women, he says, the idea of what's cheating is more broad.
"Women can be uncomfortable with the husband talking about how many lunches he's had with an associate. There is a difference of perspective."
Extramarital sex, he adds, "is only painful because it says how far the emotional affair went."
Both Sussman and Neuman agree that spouses can avoid becoming too close to a member of the opposite sex.
Playful banter in the workplace, business dinners and lengthy work trips away from family can all be "dangerous situations" Sussman says – let alone playing a hot-to-trot married couple in a movie like Pitt and Jolie.
Emotional cheating may be difficult to avoid, says Sussman. Pitt was married to Jennifer Aniston while shooting "Smith," but says he never cheated on her. "In a long-term committed monogamous relationship, we'd be foolish to think nothing like [that] would happen in our lives. It does happen," Sussman says.
"We have to be aware that these things can happen and know when to draw the line."
The 45-year-old actor has come out swinging (again) at allegations that he began an affair with Angelina Jolie on the set of "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" while he was still married to Jennifer Aniston.
Pitt announced his split from Aniston soon after the movie wrapped.
"What people don't understand is that we filmed for a year. We were still filming after Jen and I split up," he says in the February issue of W magazine.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got close on the set of "Mr. & Mrs. Smith.""Even then it doesn't mean that there was some kind of dastardly affair. There wasn't."
But, like many spouses before him, Pitt's definition of what constitutes an affair might be little ... off. Experts say it's not just about sex.
"An emotional affair is an affair. If you find yourself having feelings for someone, that is the beginning of an affair," says Rachel Sussman, a New York-based marriage and family therapist
So whether Pitt and Jolie consummated their relationship while he was still married to Aniston is irrelevant, she says.
Jolie, who now has six children with Pitt, raised eyebrows in October after she told the New York Times that "not a lot of people get to see a movie where their parents fell in love" - referencing her steamy onscreen role opposite Pitt in "Smith."
Aniston later pegged Jolie's remarks as "uncool" in an interview with Vogue magazine.
Both Jolie and Pitt have denied that they began dating during his marriage and Pitt now says that his early relationship with Jolie was "respectful" of his marriage with Aniston.
But Pitt's definition of what's "respectful" might differ from his ex-wife's.
"Men do tend to walk around feeling that unless I'm having sex, I'm not doing anything wrong," says M. Gary Neuman, psychotherapist and author of "The Truth About Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It."
But for women, he says, the idea of what's cheating is more broad.
"Women can be uncomfortable with the husband talking about how many lunches he's had with an associate. There is a difference of perspective."
Extramarital sex, he adds, "is only painful because it says how far the emotional affair went."
Both Sussman and Neuman agree that spouses can avoid becoming too close to a member of the opposite sex.
Playful banter in the workplace, business dinners and lengthy work trips away from family can all be "dangerous situations" Sussman says – let alone playing a hot-to-trot married couple in a movie like Pitt and Jolie.
Emotional cheating may be difficult to avoid, says Sussman. Pitt was married to Jennifer Aniston while shooting "Smith," but says he never cheated on her. "In a long-term committed monogamous relationship, we'd be foolish to think nothing like [that] would happen in our lives. It does happen," Sussman says.
"We have to be aware that these things can happen and know when to draw the line."
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